Keeping my calm and finding balance during this season is always a struggle for me. The boys have holiday performances, food drives, gift giving, Christmas parties, and sports while we have our own festive gatherings, family visiting, and events every weekend. All of these things are fun and a beautiful reminder how fortunate we are and I am not complaining about any of it. It’s just a juggling act and I find myself a little short tempered and not fully enjoying the season of jolly and cheer 😉
Christmas is a time to celebrate the relationships we have and our gratitude for the people in our lives. It’s a time to slow down the chaos in our minds and live in the moment.. but it can feel overwhelming and hard to do that when we’re going from Santa’s lap to brunch to the Nutcracker to building gingerbread houses to a cocktail party 😉 So this holiday season I am challenging myself, and you, with the task of staying present in the moment and letting all the little sh*t go. Here’s how I plan to do that:
Carve Time For Yourself
Self-care. You’ve heard it. Learn it, live it, love it. Even if you have littles at home. Do what you have to.. put them in front of their iPad or TV and be OK WITH IT. You need me time to decompress and do something for you. A bath, a workout, an at home facial, cleaning your closet.. whatever brings you joy. My kids have had some snow days and I allow them to do whatever they want so I can refill my cup. I’ve purged closets, organized the pantry, taken a bath and read a couple chapters in my book, went in the sauna to escape the chaos inside the house, and scheduled facials/massages on the weekend when my husband is home. As women and mothers, we literally need 2-4 hours to recharge and we’re good. Throw anything at me as long as I’ve had a couple hours to myself to get my mind right. I don’t feel guilty about it and I’m a better mom and wife for it. So do it. Daily.
Slow The F Down
We just got back from Hawaii where everyone is on island time. NO ONE is in a rush on that island and it shows lol. At first, it frustrated me that people were so damn slow. Legit the sloth from Zootopia. If you’ve seen it, you know. However, my husband and I started laughing that maybe we should adopt that lifestyle. It’s not a bad thing to slow down and bring down that cortisol stress hormone. Why are we rushing from place to place? I don’t have anywhere to be THAT FAST. I find myself rushing out the door, to school, to an appt, to buy presents, to email/text back people on the spot, whatever it is. There is always going to be something on your to-do list and I find that making a list, writing things down, checking them off one by one and doing things slowly but efficiently brings me peace and accomplishment. There’s a reason “slow and steady wins the race” is a phrase. So try it.
Express Your Negative Emotions in a Healthy Way
I have been known to fly off the handle.. ask my husband. I burn myself out often, shove my emotions deep down where I can’t feel them, then explode. There’s gotta be a better way lol. So instead of letting my irritations and frustrations get the best of me, I need to find an outlet. This is typically through a workout like yoga or escaping to my bedroom to read or take a bath. I have also gotten better at expressing what I need, delegating, and asking for help from those around me. I know when I need my husband to take over with the boys and ask nicely instead of being aggressive like I want to give up (even if I do ha). It took me YEARS to ask for help because I think I should and could handle it all. Turns out, we all need a little help whether that be from a babysitter, your parents, or your partner. Ask for it.
Let Go of What You Can’t Control
Oomph the hardest of all. But my biggest goal is to focus on the things I CAN control versus the things I can’t. I am planning school parties & events with other parents, dealing with school closures because of snow, a traveling husband during the holidays, a messy house because the boys are home more often, and holiday sh*t everywhere. Breathe. Things are GOOD. My type A, controlling personality really has a hard time with it all. Breath work, a workout, and then a glass of champagne works wonders in this case lol. Let it go, Heather. Everything will get put away and cleaned up so don’t ruin the mood! Let it go. Embrace it. Control what you can (like my emotions).. knowing that it will be fine.
Practice Gratitude
By simply noticing the positive side of every situation can have a profound impact and shift our focus during the chaos of this season. The boys’ schools are doing food and gift drives for the less fortunate and giving back to our community, which is what the holidays are all about. Volunteering your time and giving back to those in need are ways to practice gratitude. Pay for someone’s coffee behind you in line, help someone put their groceries in their car or put their cart back for them. Give someone a compliment on social media instead of criticizing them. Magical things are happening when we start learning to appreciate what we have. As long as we have our health, a warm bed and food on the table, what is there to complain about?
The holidays can be stressful, I get it. But carve time for yourself, slow down, express yourself positively, let go of what you can’t control and practice gratitude. These are my goals this season. A glass or two of champs through it all, too 😉
xx, Heather
