When have you ever heard anyone say that they LOVE change? A new mom finally gets into a groove with her newborn and then their sleep goes to hell in a hand basket. The mom isn’t exclaiming, “WOOOHOO!!” Quite the contrary; she’s huddled in a corner sobbing and Googling everything she’s doing wrong (hint: you’re doing NOTHING wrong). Or when you’re dropping a baby’s nap, or moving your toddler to a big girl bed, or your four year old is having accidents at night, or your husband just got a job in another state, or you’re changing careers, or going through a break up.. none of it is easy or particularly fun to navigate. The universe has a funny way of making us adapt to change.. it’s always RIGHT when you start to feel settled. Solid. Calm. Cool. Collected. BOOM! Life change.
I think both Alix and I have felt these shifts recently. Just when we got our feet on solid ground, life throws us a curve ball. Alix will write more about her experiences in a separate post but for today, I thought I would word vomit mine and express how I’m feeling about it and what I’m doing to “pivot.” I’ve reached some road blocks, some dead ends. Now, I have to learn to pivot.
First up: Motherhood. Guys, it is SO SO SO hard and not getting any easier.
We’ll start with the almost 5 year old. For the most part, Jackson is a dream. Tender-hearted, kind, gentle and sweet. But navigating the world of ACTUAL school (not just nursery school like he attended before) and peer pressure is tough. As moms, we are so involved in our children’s lives and can protect and shield them when they’re at home. We can intervene when they’re having a disagreement with a sibling and discipline when necessary. But school and outside play dates, that’s a different ballgame. Now, we are dealing with peer pressure and “showing off” for friends, all while hoping that the values you’re teaching them at home resonate for teachers or other moms/dads at playdates. It is stressful for everyone! While Jackson rarely gets in trouble, we’ve had a couple of instances now where Jackson just “wasn’t himself.” “It wasn’t like him to act disrespectfully” are the exact words I heard a couple weeks ago. Hearing those words breaks my heart and I have tears streaming down my face as I type them. While I can’t expect him to be perfect, the shift in behavior threw me for a loop. But it’s how we react, how we address the behavior, how we pivot that makes the impact.. right?! Still working on it but knowing that my husband and I are on the same page regarding discipline helps a ton. We work really hard as a team to approach our kids similarly.. one of us isn’t the good guy and one of us isn’t the bad guy. Jackson’s future is so bright but I know as he gets older, behavior changes are bound to happen. So step 1… try not to raise an asshole. It’s going semi-OK so far 😉
Cam’s next.. Mr. Personality. He’s 2.5 and ready for potty training… well maybe I am ready to be done with his sh*t.. he has other thoughts. He is definitely resisting the idea of potty training and most say not to push it. He’ll do it when he’s ready. But, I pushed it with Jackson and it worked.. although, they are very different kids so maybe I’m the crazy one here. I just know he can do it and I want to encourage him to try new things without being afraid. This is something he is afraid of so I think this next change is definitely tougher for him than me. We transferred him to a big boy bed without ONE little hiccup. Like, he still doesn’t get out of his bed to explore. Just stays in his bed and calls me when he wants to get up. So how much harder can potty training be?! Famous last words. Wish me luck.. this change is a big one for both of us and will leave only ONE of my kids in diapers..
Speaking of which, Parker is now 13 months old and becoming a frustrated little toddler monster! He wants to explore independently and the second I try to hold him, he pushes me away to get down. Such a strong little sucker, too! He’s slowly beginning to resist his morning nap but if he completely misses it, then he’s just a nightmare. So while we are still sticking to the two-nap schedule, I can see a shift on the horizon.. both in his daily schedule and personality. He’s not this immobile, fragile little baby anymore but a blossoming toddler who changes each day.. not something I particularly love since the season of babies has officially come to an end for me. Definitely the saddest change going on in my life but trying to look forward to all of the magical milestones he’s about to hit.. walking, talking, and slobbery kisses.
Now let’s switch it up. The blog.. I love this blog so much and it has brought me so much purpose each and every day. It is a labor of love and hard work.. and balancing it with three young kids and a husband and house to take care of is certainly not easy. I am currently writing this while my kids are flying airplanes around my head in the kitchen 😉 And then I will leave it, make them dinner, read them stories, play cars, and then come back to this post four to five times before it’s actually ready to be published.
But even after all of the hard work, I feel like we’ve reached a bit of a standstill. We just can’t quite seem to get the growth we want and maybe we were naive to think it would grow faster as most bloggers say it took them 3+ years to make a dime (although now popular bloggers say it is a much more difficult world to grow in now that it’s pretty saturated so we have our work cut out for us).
We are monetizing at this point but no, we didn’t start this to make money. We started it as a creative outlet and a way to reach other moms, sisters, wives, and women who may connect on at least one topic we’re writing about. But Instagram is a funny animal that makes you doubt what you’re doing or who you’re reaching. So I think it’s time to brainstorm and pivot. Maybe we should be reaching out to brands we love for collaborations instead of standing by waiting for them to come to us. Maybe we should be hosting meet-ups in Seattle at our favorite workout studios or brunch spots. Maybe we should be doing SO MUCH MORE than we’re already doing and perhaps we’ll see organic growth. But finding the time. Finding the energy. If we want this to succeed, I think we need to get more creative than we’ve been. And while we already know how amazing and authentic our current followers are, we want to keep going! All creative ideas are more than welcome in the comments 😉
So there you have it.. my brain dump. The things that have been on my mind lately and what’s going on in my own little corner of the world. I know I’m not alone as a mom and what I’m experiencing with a 4.5, 2.5 and 1 year old. I know I’m not alone in feeling stuck in some of my personal endeavors. But I do know that we’re all doing the best we can. And hoping for more personal growth in the New Year.
As always, thanks for listening and for your support!
xx, H
Great post. Thanks for sharing!!