Thanksgiving is a holiday centered around food, so it’s no surprise there is a lot of food talk going on over these next few weeks. Being an adolescent and young adult eating disorder dietitian for over 10 years has given me a lot understanding how adult’s food talk can shape a child’s thoughts and beliefs about food and their bodies starting at a very young age. You may not think your little one is listening or understanding what’s being said, but they are sponges and taking in everything they see their parents (and other adults) doing.
I had a session with a student this week that reminded me what an important topic this is to cover during the holiday season. She told me about how her grandmother is always making comments about calories and diets, but also makes her clean her plate before dessert. She was anxious to head home for the holiday break.
This time of year can bring up negative food talk related to calories, weight gain, overeating, etc. Do any of these phrases sound familair?
“I’ve eaten so much I probably gained 10 pounds”
“I can’t eat that, it’s not on my diet”
“I am so bad for eating xyz”
“That food is fattening”
Having worked in the field of eating disorders for so long and also having two young girls at home, I’m so mindful of how we talk about food and our bodies in our house. We can really help kids build a positive relationship with food and their bodies by being good role models.
Kids do not think about food in terms of health at this young age. If kids hear us talking about food negatively or labeling food as “good” or “bad” that can stick with them for a lifetime. It might initially not cause any harm, but overtime it could lead to them feeling guilty or bad for eating those foods, sneaking those foods, negative body thoughts, etc.
Unfortunately, I’ve worked with so many patients that received diet culture messages starting at a young age and it significantly impacted their relationship with food. If this is something you struggle with, then I encourage you to change the way you talk about food in front of kids. If you’re having family over for the holidays that tend to engage in this type of food talk then I encourage you to have a conversation with them prior in order to protect your kids from those harmful messages.
4 THINGS YOU CAN DO AS THE PARENT:
Don’t make your child try every new food or finish their plate
Ensure there are plenty of foods that your child will eat along with foods they may like to try. Try not to put pressure on them to please you with their food choices.
Don’t comment on you own or other’s food choices or bodies
Shut down the diet and negative food talk, change the subject, and be a good role model.
Avoid compensating for eating
Kids still need a reliable structure around food. Stick to a regular meal and snack schedules as much as possible even if there is a big meal planned.
Trust your child to eat and self regulate
This might be challenging with foods that you might not trust yourself around. For example, if you don’t trust yourself to eat desserts, you might have a harder time trusting your child to eat these foods. Try separating your own food experiences from your child’s.
Happy Thankgiving!
xx, A
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