How I Really Feel About Having a Third Boy

Yep, I’m having a third boy. You felt a little twinge of disappointment for me when you saw us pop that blue gender reveal balloon, didn’t you? I’ll admit it.. when I found out I was pregnant for the third time, I hoped for a little girl at first. And up until our reveal party a couple of weeks ago, I could have sworn I was pregnant with a girl. Not because that’s what I wanted per se, but just how I felt.. and a mother’s intuition is so very real. But as the blue confetti popped over us, I’ll admit that I felt that same little hint of disappointment. If you watch the video, you’ll see that the first thing my husband says to me is, “Are you ok?” and I quickly responded with, “Yeah” and we went on to celebrate with our friends. The party was a serious blur.. I was in a little bit of shock to be honest. Don’t get my wrong.. I wasn’t sad. And my friends and husband were so supportive and excited for us. I was just trying to digest the information. Once everyone left, I was able to crawl into bed and really connect with my thoughts and how I was feeling about our big news and I realized why I felt the way I felt.

From the second I found out I was pregnant, I knew everyone would hope I was pregnant with a girl. Even when I was pregnant with Cameron, who’s gender we kept a surprise, people wished for a girl. Why? Because I had a boy and the next should be girl, right? And I’ll admit, I was part of the problem because I expressed wanting a girl so of course my closest friends wished this for me too. It’s weird to me, though, because when women have a girl first, why isn’t that same pressure applied to them? I don’t feel like we WISH boys on other moms even when they have a girl first (maybe I’m wrong in this but it’s just been my experience). And for some reason I felt like I would be disappointing so many people, even complete strangers, if I said I was having a third boy.

To this day when I am out and about with my two boys, people call Cameron a girl 9 times out of 10 even if he’s dressed in head to toe blue with a backwards baseball hat on. Jackson is clearly a little boy and Cam is still a baby and I get that it’s hard to tell between boys and girls at that age, but everyone thinks he’s a girl when I have both kids with me. If I just have Cameron, he never gets mistaken for a girl… but throw Jackson in the mix and everyone asks about his “little sister.” It is MIND. BLOWING. Why is it so hard for people to see?! Most of the time I don’t correct complete strangers and just go on my way but when I do mention that Cam is a boy, it’s almost like I get a pity response. “Oh wow, you have your hands full.” I think to myself, “I’d have my hands full if they were two girls, or one boy and one girl.. thank you very much.” But I just nod and say, “Yep!”

This is why I felt slight disappointment when I found out big 3 was another boy. I wasn’t actually disappointed.. I was worried about disappointing everyone else, even complete strangers. That’s how much pressure I felt to have a girl and even writing that sentence is making me teary-eyed. I’m already so connected and obsessed with this third little guy and I haven’t even met him yet and to think, I wished he was something else. Or that anyone wished he was something else. It makes me sad because he’s perfect and God gave him to me.

After our gender reveal party, I laid in bed and thought about my family and this third little boy and completely embraced him. Life is going to be loud, messy, funny and dirty. It’s going to be baseball cleats, golf clubs, soccer games and rough-housing. It isn’t going to be tutus, tap shoes, American Dolls or manicures. And guess what… it’s ok. I’m ok. I grew up with brothers on a street full of boys. God gave me all boys because he knew that’s what I could handle. I was destined to be a Boy Mom from the beginning.

So, I don’t want you to feel bad for me because I’m having a third boy. What people don’t see is that I have two boys who shower me in hugs and kisses. Jackson tells me he loves me unprompted maybe 20 times a day and if I don’t respond right away or if I only say, “I love you” back he says, “No, mommy! Say I love you TOO!” He tells me he likes my dresses and that I’m pretty. And in 10, 20, 30 years from now, I’ll have someone home for Sunday dinner every week.. I’m sure of it. Because boys never leave their moms. I’m the luckiest girl in the world that I get to raise three little boys and hopefully turn them into gentlemen.. something we need more of in this world.

Now, when I’m in the grocery store and someone asks me about my son and “daughter,” I correct them and say, “Nope, I have two boys and I’m pregnant with my third boy!” I don’t say it apologetically or with any ounce of sadness. I don’t say it sarcastically or with a “pray for me” undertone like I used to. I say it with pride. Because no one should ever be made to feel sorry for having three, healthy kids.. whether that’s three girls or three boys. And when someone tells me that I have my hands full, I say, “Yes I do.” Because, YES I DO. But so does the mom with one boy and one girl. Or two boys. Or three girls. I don’t care if you have one child or five. Your hands are FULL. But so is your heart. And when someone asks me if I’m “going for the fourth,” I politely say, “Hell no.” 😉