I think back on my college and high school days very fondly and what makes me smile is all the memories I have with my friends. We thought we were so busy and stressed back then…little did we know how simple life truly was. How easy it was to spend time with friends and how often we got to see them.
As we get older it becomes more challenging to see friends and maintain friendships because we’ve moved to different states, have jobs, kids, and partners that take up the majority of our time. It becomes challenging to see friends let alone find a time you’re both free to catch up on the phone.
A quote I heard in high school that has clearly stuck with me since I still remember it and reflect on it all the time is “In order to have good friends you must be a good friend.” This means it takes effort and like any relationship you will get out of it what you put into it.
As we get older, we change and not all friendships will last and that is also OK. Friendships evolve and change as we do, and it’s ok to let go of friendships that worked at one point in your life, but no longer work or serve you. The friendships that really matter to you will sustain life’s transitions if you’re willing to put in effort to maintain and grow them.
All this to say, I’ve also made new friends as I’ve moved states and had kids. That’s only natural. I wrote a post about finding your mom tribe (although I cringe at that term).
I’m lucky to say I have a lot of quality friendships in my life. I feel lucky to have so many amazing women in my corner. Here are some ways I have maintained long distance friendships over the years.
Stay in Touch
Seem obvious enough, but check in frequently. Even if you don’t have a question or “need” something. Shoot them a text and ask how their weekend was, facetime, or pick up the phone and call them when you’re driving or walking and have some free time. Rather than playing phone tag forever, I will text with a friend to find a time to talk on the phone that works for both of us. Sometimes I feel like I get a better catch up via phone vs. just texting. But I’m also always texting friends checking in on them, their kids, sharing funny stories, or things that made me think if them.
Plan a Girls Trip
Most of us are done with bachelorette parties, but you should still be planning weekends away with your girlfriends. Honestly, I find it easier to plan a trip with a small group. It’s hard to coordinate with everyone’s schedule and I feel like you really get to catch up and spend quality time with friends when the group is small. It might take a lot of coordinating to get away for a weekend a few times a year, but it’s so worth it.
Send a card
I like to send cards to friends just because. If I’m at Trader Joe’s or somewhere and see a card that reminds me of someone I will get it and send it to them just to say hi and thinking of you. It’s a fun way to show effort and let someone know they matter to you.
Use common interests to feel connected
I send different friends different things that we connect over. For example, I’ll send certain friends podcasts I liked, book recs, recipes, workouts, TV shows, etc. Find an anchor that connects your friendship and use that to stay in touch.
xx, A
