Today’s post is going to be a bit different. As you know, I am a full-time stay at home mom of two and my perspective on the day-to-day resonates with some of you but a lot of our readers are full-time working moms and I think it’s important to reach all audiences and connect. This is why I want you to meet Laura: one of my lifelong friends from Orange County and new mom who recently went back to work as a full-time lawyer (what a freaking badass, right?). She sent me some of her work she wrote while on maternity leave and it struck a chord with me. It is so real, raw and humbling and will resonate with so many of you because you’re in the exact same position as her. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to share her honest writing because it is exactly what The Champagne Theory is about. It’s about finding balance (or at least trying). Finding a community of women who are in similar situations and just need an outlet or a place to feel safe to express themselves. I plan to share more of Laura’s work in the coming weeks but this first one was a favorite and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Also, can we please talk about how gorgeous her baby boy, Luke, is? Good LORD what a delicious child.
Feel free to leave comments/questions for Laura in the comments and I’ll make sure it reaches her.
Written by Laura Williams entitled “Overwhelmed”
I have now been back to work for almost a month a half, or 35 working days (but who’s counting?!?) and I am simply overwhelmed. For the first couple weeks returning to work full time, after an amazing maternity leave with my son, I thought I was doing pretty okay. Not pretty good, but pretty okay. I was adjusting to the new rhythm of being back to work full time, while momming and wifing in between, and I was giving myself a pat on the back for simply doing it. It was hard in ways I wasn’t prepared for – like coming home to your greatest joy only to realize he needs to go to bed in a couple hours but the taking care of the pets, the dishes, the laundry, the cooking, the meal prepping, decompressing from the day, etc. also still need to get done (and some of those things I actually look forward to!). But I told myself it would get better and “easier.” It was just going to take time to figure things out and get to know the new normal.
What a load of crap.
Somehow, it has only gotten harder. Yes, work got increasingly more demanding as it’s accustomed to do and yes, our social schedule kicked up a notch, so I figured I just needed to weather the storm because that’s what we do, right hot mamas? Umm, no. I do not want to weather – I want to flourish.
But here I am. Overwhelmed. Trying to keep it together. Trying not to feel guilty for not being with my son more. Trying not to feel guilty for wanting an hour to myself when I’m actually with my son for the 2 ½ hours I get to spend with him before bed. Trying not to feel guilty about not immediately jumping my husband’s bones when we’re finally alone. Trying not to feel guilty about having a glass of wine (or 3) on a Tuesday night. WTF is with this guilt on top of the general feeling of not being able to keep my damn head above water?
And I know I’m not the first woman on the planet to go back to work full time with a new baby, and a husband and pets. So I feel guilty for feeling overwhelmed!
So what is the point of this rant/woe is me post? I’m not even sure. Perhaps it’s to connect to other similarly situated women to commiserate. Perhaps it’s to just to share so others can have some sense of what might befall them, but know they’re not alone.
One thing I do know is that the main source of my malcontent is my job. Both the work itself and the amount of time I’m working, is just, NO. I can’t. It’s not fulfilling me. It’s not fueling me. It’s just sucking the positivity out of me and my life. So I’m actively taking steps to change that. ASAP.
I also do think sharing our struggles and tough “truths” is helpful. It’s not only cathartic, but hopefully it can bring some comfort to others who may feel they’re on an island unto themselves and they’re not sure where to begin to flag down the rescue plane to get back to the mainland (although being on a tropical island with cocktails and pizza, alone, for a couple hours, isn’t entirely unappealing to me).
So keep kicking ass all you bad ass women. You might not think you’re killing it, but you are just by making it through another day. And getting your kids through the day. And your husband/significant other. And your pets. And yes it still counts if you cry at the end of it all.
