I haven’t done a motherhood update since Quinn turned 3 last summer, so now that we’ve entered what I like to call the “feisty fours” I thought it was time for an update! I also write these posts because I think it’s helpful for other moms, that might be having similar challenges, to know they aren’t alone and nothing is “wrong” with their child.
General Thoughts: When Quinn hit ~3.5 I thought we had turned a major corner (and we had!) and I would tell my husband how fun and easy Quinn was. Maybe a leap of some sort happened, but when Quinn turned 4 in August things were no longer so “fun and easy”. Don’t get me wrong, so many things about motherhood have become easier the older she gets, but new challenges have popped up. I guess like any age we have our good and hard days, but lately it feels like the hard days are winning. I’m sure some of it is a compound effect of COVID and we had two really smokey weeks that we were stuck inside for, but boy she’s giving me a run for my money lately.
Biggest Challenges/Rewards: Our biggest challenge right now is her attitude and behavior. She is very clever, stubborn, and feisty, which might serve her well when she’s older, but it’s a pill to parent right now. Everything is a negotiation and there has been some acting out with hitting and kicking that I haven’t seen since she was much younger and didn’t know any better. Now she knows better and it isn’t cute. I’ve been finding it difficult to keep my cool which only worsens the situation.
I think a lot of her behavioral issues are normal for this age, and I also think being an only child feeds the behaviors as well. I often see how my friend’s siblings fight and I realized she was trying to pick similar fights with me. She used to be really good at independent play and now she wants someone to do everything with her…color, get dressed, games, art projects, etc. She’s our only child so she gets a lot of our attention believe me, but I’m trying to make a point to put my phone down and really spend more quality time with her. This helps, but then it’s all she wants and gets upset if I tell her I need to make dinner, laundry, etc. These are the times when I honestly believe having one kid is harder than two because she doesn’t have someone to play with besides us. (Before you tell me to have another kid please read my fertility post here if you missed it 😉 )
Quinn responds well to sticker charts (we used one when she was having a potty regression) so I took her to Michael’s last weekend to pick out stickers and help me create a behavior chat (see below). We started it Monday, so I will keep you posted on our progress. There are a million behavior charts on Pinterest, but I wanted it to be more specific to the challenges we were facing, so I created my own.
It’s not all bad though lol! It’s been so amazing to watch Quinn mature this past year into a little girl. She likes clothes, accessories, decorating her room, arts and crafts, helping me bake, etc. and it’s really is fun. She loves to be a big girl and do all the things mommy does and this is exactly why I was so excited to have a girl. She is also back to pre-school this fall and thriving already. I’m so proud of the strong, smart, and independent little girl she’s becoming and I know it will only become more fun the older she gets.
Nutrition/Eating: This used to be my biggest stressor with Quinn. She used to be the pickiest and worst eater and I would be so anxious about it, but she’s outgrown that. She isn’t always a great eater, but I’ve relaxed and I know she will eat when she’s hungry and I don’t let myself get worked up over it. When she was younger I worried if she didn’t eat a good dinner she would be up in the middle of the night. That has never happened. If she says she is hungry before bed (typically one of her procrastination techniques) she is allowed a banana and that’s it.
A new goal I have this fall is that we eat dinner more together as a family. Now that my husband is working from home we can easily all sit down for dinner around 5-5:30pm. If Quinn eats after that she’s too tired and it’s a mess. We are having a difficult time getting her to stay seated and eat her meal (with manners), so that is a section in her behavior chart as well. I’m also trying to make her dinner meal mimic similar foods that my husband and I are eating. I used to make her her own “kid friendly” dinner, but now I’m making her meal look similar to ours.
Sleep: No complaints really here. She transitioned into a big girl bed at 3.5 when she finally realized she could climb out of her crib. I honestly would have sent her to college in her crib if I could, but luckily the transition to her big girl bed went smoothly! I wrote a post all about the big girl bed transition here. She sadly dropped her nap long long ago, so she’s typically ready for bed between 6:30-7pm and will sleep 11-12 hours a night. We’ve had a lot of luck with the sleep clock, and she really won’t get out of bed until it’s green.
Socialization/School: We are so lucky her preschool is open and she is going 4 days a week from 9am-1pm. She absolutely loves it and feels like such a big girl in the older class this year. Being an only child, she really needs the socialization of school and has already made one new little friend. It’s hard with COVID to keep up the socialization piece that she so needs, but we make a point to see friends for bike riding at the park or drive out to visit Heather’s boys (her BFFs) as much as possible.
Favorite Toys/Activities: I’ve passed along so many of her toddler toys that she didn’t play with much anymore. She is really into coloring, jewelry making (this and this one), magna tiles, and her stuffed animals. We also have a monthly subscription for these sensory kits she really loves and she’s been getting these boxes monthly since she was 2 (they get more advanced the older they get) and they make the perfect rainy day indoor activity (parent involvement required FYI). She learned how to ride her bike over the summer, so she loves to ride her bike or scooter at the park as much as possible.
If you have any tips or tricks that helped you with your feisty four year old I’m all ears!!
xx, A
