My Infertility Story

Almost 2 years ago I wrote this post about the pressures of having another baby and feeling content with just having Quinn. In the post I describe waiting for that moment when I “knew” I was ready for another baby. At that time we were content and happy just having Quinn and thought that was how we would always feel moving forward. One and done. Last June something changed and I found myself feeling ready and excited about the idea of having another baby. My husband and I went out to dinner and discussed what this would look like for our family and agreed to go for it!

A week later I was got my IUD taken out and my doctor said I should have no problem at all getting pregnant again since I got pregnant with Quinn the first month we tried. (I think it’s important to note that I had an IUD taken out and put back in when Quinn was about 2 because we thought we were ready then changed our minds…ugh!) Here we are almost a year later and I’m still not pregnant. I thought I would have a newborn right now. Nope.

Last fall I went to my doctor because it has been a few months of trying, I was getting regular periods (period cycle lengths were short which is important to note, but I didn’t realize that was an issue at the time), tracking, doing all the things and confused why I wasn’t pregnant right away again. She ran basic labs which all looked healthy and normal. I went back a month later on day 3 of my cycle and did further labs to check my AMH (anti-mullerian hormone) and endocrine/hormones. I had to look up what AMH tested and discovered it’s how they can best estimate your ovarian reserve. AMH is basically an estimate of how many eggs you have left. About a week later I received a concerned voicemail from my doctor and thought to myself that this couldn’t be good…they never call about lab results. While looking at my labs and discussing the results with my doctor I was in absolute shock. I’m 35 years old (at the time) and could have sworn I was looking at my 70 year old mom’s lab results- not mine! My AMH was low low low severely LOW and my FSH through the roof…hello early menopause! Confused and devastated I decided to make an appointment with a fertility specialist and have my labs retaken.

In January I met with a fertility specialist who confirmed everything my labs were showing…we did an ultra sounds on my ovaries and sure enough I don’t have many eggs left. Premature ovarian failure. It was difficult to wrap my head around. The fact that I’m one of the healthiest people I know and my body could be failing me this way…it didn’t make sense to me. Only 4 years prior I got pregnant with Quinn on the first try…how could so much change so quickly?? Or was Quinn a total fluke?? So many question and so much confusion. I was a mess leaving that appointment and the take-a-way was that if we wanted another baby IVF was our best option and even then I didn’t have many eggs to retrieve. The doctor actually recommended minimal stimulation IVF for us which I had never heard of. The entire meeting was a blur and my head was spinning when I left 2 hours later.

At the time we decided not to go the IVF route ( for a lot of different reasons) and keep trying the old fashion way. IVF is still not off the table. What added insult to injury at the appointment was the doctor telling me I would like go into menopause in the next 3-5 years…ummm WHAT?!?! My FSH levels definitely showed I am in perimenopause.

I think what I’ve learned from this experience and what frustrates me the most is that I had NO CLUE what AMH was before this. Why wasn’t this level checked and explained to me after I had Quinn or when I told the doctor we were on the fence about another baby 2 years ago. I feel like these hormone levels are such important information that OBGYNs and other doctors should be educating women about who want kids in the future. Female hormones change so drastically in our 30’s (I knew that, but was naive because I figured I was so healthy it wouldn’t matter or apply to me). I could get pregnant if I wanted to.

My advice if you’re in your 30’s and want kids/more kids, get your labs checked and have a good idea of where your fertility hormone levels are at. Be PROACTIVE with your reproductive health because I really wish I knew this about my body years ago and that would have likely changed our family planning timeline.

The good news: I still have normal periods and (hopefully) normal healthy 36 year old eggs…so I’ve thrown myself into the research and I’m trying to find ways I can manage and improve my hormones via diet and lifestyle. I’m very curious if having my IUD put in and taken our twice played a role in messing with my hormones. I will share more about what I’ve been up to and the research next week!

With that said we are so so so lucky to have Quinn. If she is my one and only then I consider myself a very lucky mama. Would I love for her to have a sibling? Of course! We are trying to stay positive and look at all our options as I feel the pressure of time ticking by each month.

Thank you for taking the time to read and follow along. Of course if you have any fertility tips and tricks drop them in the comments section…I’d love to hear them! And for all the mamas struggling out there to get pregnant or stay pregnant I get it and am so very sorry for your pain.

xx, A