Pregnancy Reality Check

dress | kimono

Today I want to talk about pregnancy expectations and what’s actually real.. because everything you read or hear is not true. Pregnancy glow? Mmmmk. Gaining between 25-30 lbs.. ya, in your bra (name that Jim Carrey movie lol). I follow a lot of bloggers, with many of them pregnant and due around the same time as me, and as women we can’t help but compare. But playing the comparison game is a dangerous one so for today’s post, I just want to give a little pregnancy reality check in hopes it helps just one other mama-to-be feel “normal.”

Expectation #1: Weight gain should be between 25-30 lbs. This one just IRKS me because these are the numbers you see all over the internet and what your doctor tells you. So when you get pregnant, you spend all this time weighing yourself, getting weighed at every appointment, and praying you fit into this teeny tiny unrealistic box society has set. Yes, there is a healthy amount of weight one should gain and it’s around these numbers but I can tell you this much: I gained more and was perfectly healthy throughout my pregnancies. I gained around 38 with Jackson and just over 40 with Cameron. With Jackson, I worked out almost daily taking Corepower yoga up until the week I gave birth (yes, I’m gonna brag about that because that shit was hard). With Cammy, I didn’t workout nearly as much because I was working full time and taking care of a baby, but walked when I could and ate all the pastries and indulged because I knew the weight would come off. Yeah, it was harder the second time around so with Parker, I’ve been active and eaten clean(er) but you know what…I eat the cake. I eat the chocolate. I go back for seconds. And I workout. And guess what, I’ve passed all of my blood tests and screenings and according to my doctor, I’m “on track.” But that doesn’t matter to me.. being “on track.” I don’t look at the scale anymore and won’t.. I trust that my body is gaining the weight needed to carry and deliver a healthy baby boy. Side note and not that it matters because again, no need to compare, but one of my favorite and skinniest, might I add, bloggers I follow recently divulged that she gained 40 lbs with her daughter. So reality check #1: it’s ok to gain more (or less than if you’re #blessed) than 30 lbs during pregnancy. You’ll lose it.

Expectation #2: You’ll have this cute little basketball-type bump and a pregnancy glow. HAHA what are you talking about?!? Some women are lucky and carry baby all in their bump with their legs and arms remaining little twigs. NOT UP IN HERE! I carry my babies in my face, arms, legs, butt and thighs. In fact at almost 7 months pregnant, some can’t even tell I’m pregnant because my boobs and bump are basically the same size ha.. people are afraid to comment because they aren’t sure if I’m pregnant or not. I went to Orange Theory and the chick tried to get me on the rower (where you work your lower abs) and I was like GIRL, I can’t be doing that right now.. I’m pregnant. And she’s like, “OMG I couldn’t even tell.. you look amazing.” Bless you. I mean, she was being nice but I can read between the lines here. I’m round everywhere.. not just my belly. And pregnancy glow.. ok that is thanks to instagram filters and highlighter. My face looks like a pizza pie and the hormonal acne can’t be tamed. Some weeks, your skin is clear and the next you have a zit the size of Montana on your chin. Reality check #2: everyone carries babies differently and you might look like a teenage boy going through puberty. That’s “normal.”

Expectation #3: You’re going to feel great come your second trimester (yes, a little tired here and there) and have so. much. energy! When you tell people you’re in your second trimester, one of the first things they’ll say is, “Oh, so you’re starting to feel normal again!” If by that you mean getting in bed at 8 instead of 7, SURE. I don’t care if you’re pregnant for the first time or pregnant with other kids to watch.. you never really feel “normal.” You’re pregnant.. you’re carrying a growing human who sucker punches you randomly throughout the day, brings you to your knees with sciatica pain, positions himself in a way that makes you lose your breath but you’re expected to continue your day like nothing’s going on. Go to work, sit for 8 hours, chase after your kids, make dinner, run errands, be the wife, be the mom, be the coworker, be a freaking superhero. Reality check #3: you’re going to be tired your entire pregnancy whether it’s your first or fourth. And there’s no such thing as feeling normal. 

K I’m going to stop because it’s kind of a rant session and I don’t want to come off as ungrateful for this experience because there are SO many women who wish, hope and pray to be in my position. There are beautiful things about pregnancy and for me, it’s finding out and it’s when it ends. Everything in between is hard work.

So when you scroll through social media and see women who look different than you, praising their ever-growing body and relishing in their pregnancy “glow,” know that they also have their not-so-glamourous moments and it’s not easy. It’s a highlight reel and you shouldn’t feel like you need to fit into their box. We’re all different.. we carry differently.. we feel differently.. our lives and our bodies are just different. So don’t get caught up in what someone else is doing or eating or drinking or feeling. Just do you and screw the rest 😉