The last 7 days have been one for the books. And not the good chapters. The messy, exhausting, I’m gonna lose my sh*t type of ones. And I hate feeling that way.. I hate feeling like I am not being present in the moment, or not enjoying every second of this beautiful weather, or just this overall “blah” of the monotony of our days. Granted, this past week none of the boys had camp so they were home all day saying how bored they were and I just had moments of wanting to scream. I found it really difficult to fill their days without wanting to just buying them something to fill their time or feed them endless sugar to give me some peace and quiet. And I also hate feeling like they have to be in a camp somewhere else to make us all feel fulfilled. I should be able to handle all of their wants and needs and keep them happy. But this past week, I just felt like a bit of failure and not fully enjoying my time at home with them. Sure, we have good, very fun moments too but it just seemed really hard this week and I was counting down until bed time. And I think I know why..
Trying to keep three boys, all within 2 years of age of one another, happy all day long without fighting is an impossible feat. It will never happen and I have given myself grace time and time again when I have to separate them but what I’ve come to realize is that it’s my tiniest tyrant causing most of the issues. Jackson and Cammy could play with one another all day, every day with very little fighting. They are besties, ride or die til the end. They’re also older and self-sufficient and just want to play together with their toys. Insert: Parker (age 2.5). The stealer of all toys, the “give it to me,” “it’s mine,” I’ll cry if I want to Mr. Parker. He. Is. A. Handful. Not just for me but for his brothers, too. We are all a little scared of him lol. I feel like I block this age out with every child.. two and a half has always been rough in this household. He can express himself but can’t understand the word, “No.” He knows exactly what he wants, when he wants it, and how he wants it and if anyone deviates from the plan, stage 5. World War. So after this past week/weekend, I went back and reread my post I wrote about Cammy a little over 2 years ago when he was 2. I needed to remind myself about this phase.. and that’s all it is.. a phase. And everything I wrote back then I could apply to Parker today. I haven’t done myself any favors by rewarding his poor behavior, just giving him what he wants, and reacting to his crying/whining. Time to reset.. and hopefully turn it all around for a better week ahead. And don’t get me wrong, he has his very sweet moments where we cuddle and he’s quiet and not terrorizing everyone. But the moments are few and far between right now.. he requires a lot of attention and hand holding.
ALL OF THIS TO SAY, here’s a little glimpse into life with not one but three tiny tyrants:
HAT | SUIT | SHIRT | PANTS | SANDALS
sweatshirt | joggers
SWEATER | SHORTS | SANDALS
No one’s life is perfect, no matter what it looks like on social media. There are pretty pictures of perfect families but behind the camera is a really messy reality. Our house is chaos, fighting, empty threats of no more treats, and breakdowns for babysitters when I lose it. I am so thankful for my life and my family but it doesn’t mean I don’t have really hard days or weeks. It’s the season of life and I’m tired. I’m ready for school to be back in session and for some structure to our days. But for now, embracing the absolute and complete madness that three boys ages 2, 4 and 6 brings.
xx, H
