When I was working more in the clinical nutrition world I specialized in adolescent nutrition. I spent my days educating kids and their families about food, nutrition, and best practices to ensure these kiddos were getting adequate nutrition. It’s funny how much I was looking forward to when I would be able to feed and enjoy meals together with my child. It was so easy to give all the recommendations and scientific evidence to parents, but it was a big wake up call for me when I started giving Quinn solids. It’s not as easy as it sounds and there are many variables in feeding your kids.
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Quinn is such a picky eater and doesn’t have a big appetite, so meal times can be a battle (exactly what I tell all my parents to avoid with their kids!) I find myself getting so stressed out when it’s time for a meal and wondering if she will eat it or not. I spend time preparing her balanced meals that she often takes one look at and says “No!” She used to throw her plate on the floor…you could imagine the mess and stress… luckily she doesn’t do this as much anymore. Even if this meal was the exact same meal she LOVED the day before. SO. FRUSTRATING.
I always encourage parents to read all the books by Ellyn Satter (see my book recommendation list below) and would educate parents on the division of responsibility at meal time. It is your job as the parents to serve balanced meals and snacks and the child’s job to eat what and how much they want. Don’t be a short order cook I would tell my clients…guess what I have become?! Like so many parents that worry their child isn’t eating enough or the “right” foods I would give her SO many options if she refused the dinner I prepared.
Quinn had her 2 year check up a few weeks ago and I spoke with her pediatrician about the meal time struggle. His recommendation was that she needs to take 2 “no thank you” bites. He explained that this means if there is a food on her plate that she refuses to touch she must take at least 2 bites of that food before getting seconds of anything else she wants. So, if she wants more mac & cheese, but hasn’t touched her broccoli she needs to take two bites before I give her more mac & cheese. I’ve tried this once so far and it didn’t go so well- ha! But I will keep trying and hopefully I can get her trying more foods on her plate…fingers crossed!
He also told me that if she completely refuses her dinner- that’s it! Put it aside and if she says she is hungry later then that is what she can have. Nothing else. To be fair I always have familiar foods on her plate. If I’m giving her a new food I only do one at a time and the rest of the meal consists of items she has seen and enjoyed before. I’m working on reminding myself she won’t starve to death and hopefully by being more firm at meal times she will be encouraged to try new foods and there will be less of a struggle at meal times. She’s throwing food less which is a total win, but feeding a toddler is no walk in the park! Sometimes I miss just being able to put her on the boob and call it good!
Anyways, Quinn is starting a little “preschool” in September two days a week and I have to pack her lunch. I’m starting to think about what I will be packing for her and hopeful that if she’s eating with other kids she will eat more because everyone else is doing it…good peer pressure!
Recently, one of our followers sent me a picture of their kid’s preschool menu and asked for my thoughts about what was being served at school. My best piece of advice is to think about color! So many of the meals on this menu she sent consisted of brown, yellow, and white…blah! Add some color… this means different nutrients on their plate plus it’s more visually appealing.
Here are 5 lunch ideas that Quinn will be seeing and hopefully eating in the Fall at school!
- turkey and cheese tortilla roll ups + avocado slices + strawberries + milk/yogurt
- sliced pita bread + hummus + carrots + cheese stick
- pasta salad + snap peas + orange slices + choc milk/yogurt
- egg salad + crackers + edamame + grapes + milk/yogurt
- leftover pizza slice + frozen peas + watermelon + milk
Recommended reads for parents on feeding your kiddos:
- “How to Get Your Kid to Eat, But Not Too Much” by Ellyn Satter
- “Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense” by Ellyn Satter
- “Secrets of Feeding a Healthy Family: How to Eat, How to Raise Good Eaters, How to Cook” by Ellyn Satter
- “Your Child’s Weight: Helping Without Harming” by Ellen Satter
- “Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Program that Works” by Evelyn Tribole M.S. R.D. and Elyse Resch M.S. R.D. F.A.D.A.
- A book I recommend parents read if they are having issues with their own relationship with food
I’m living this struggle too. It’s been tough but I can’t wait to try some of your suggestions! <3
I’m glad I’m not alone in this struggle!! So frustrating!
My son is the same, and I hate it! I try to be patient and be a good model, but I waste so much food. And the worst is when someone (like a grandparent) comments on it negatively. I like the idea of “no thank you” bites, Ill have to try that. Lately I’ve been having my son help with food prep and I notice he will pop something in his mouth to try in the moment, so I like having him help even just to touch and smell different veggies and foods. I’ve also been making fruit popsicles with fruits he doesn’t really like (just blending fruit and water), but in popsicle form he will try it, and usually like it! Plus I use these to get him to eat non preferred stuff, like 2 pieces of broccoli. The hardest is meat/protein. My son only eats tofu, which is fine, but I wish I would get him to eat more fish, chicken and beef. Keep sharing any recipes Quinn likes!